5 Signs You are Grieving Your Trauma
When something bad happens to you whether that is a sexual assault, an abusive relationship, or separating from toxic family members, you will probably grieve what happened. Grieving is a totally normal experience even if what you experienced was traumatic. These signs stem from the Kübler-Ross 5 stages of grief model. Here is how these stages are applicable to trauma:
You are in the denial stage about your trauma
Thoughts – “that wasn’t abuse,” “I can’t believe what happened,” “What happened wasn’t that bad,” comparing yourself to other people or situations
Feelings – numbness, low energy, frozen
Actions – avoid anything that reminds you of what happened, masking your real feelings, and pretending like everything is okay
You are in the bargaining stage about your trauma
Thoughts – “what if I would have fought back?” “I should have tried to leave sooner” “I could have saw this coming”
Feeling – conflicted, upset, torn, up and down, or an emotional rollercoaster
Actions – Difficulty making decisions because you feel back and forth
You are in the anger stage about your trauma
Thoughts – “I am so fucking pissed off about what happened to me,” “that should have never happened,” and perhaps thinking about revenge or wanting the other person to feel as hurt as you
Feelings – hot, heated, easily irritated, fuming, enraged, upset, like you have stuck energy inside of you
Actions – being less patient with others, snapping towards others, and being more judgmental
You are in the sadness stage about your trauma
Thoughts – “I am so upset with what happened to me”
Feelings – low energy in your body, heaviness, hole in your heart
Actions – crying more often and urge to connect with others (especially people that have the same experience as you)
You are in the acceptance stage about your trauma
Thoughts – “what happened to me wasn’t okay,” “I didn’t deserve what happened to me,” and “what happened to me isn’t my fault”
Feelings – relieved and confident
Actions – able to be compassionate towards yourself and others and possibly help others who have been through the same thing as you
Here are other things important to note when looking at these stages of grief
These stages do not go in order. Meaning, you can feel angry then be in acceptance and then feel sad
You may feel like you go back and forth between them. Just because you’ve experienced one stage doesn’t mean you won’t experience it again
You might not experience one or some of these stages at all. For example, you may never be in denial about something that has happened to you but you might experience feelings of sadness about it.
If this article is one that resonates with you and you are wanting to learn how to heal from what you have been through, I am accepting new clients. I am accepting all clients who live in Florida for virtual sessions. I also have in-person appointments available in Fort Myers, Fl. Feel free to give me a call at 239-688-5478 or send me an email at sarra@healingloudly.com to get started in your healing journey.