Helping Yourself Heal from Sexual Abuse
Healing from something like this will take time, so it’s important to be patient with your self through this process. Healing is also not linear so you may feel like you are on the top of the world one day and the next in the dumps really upset about what happened. Here are some steps for you to consider taking to heal:
Be Compassionate to Yourself
It’s not your fault. What happened to you was not something you can control, because you cannot control the actions of other people. Thinking about what you could have done differently is your brain’s way of trying to protect you from this happening again. While your brain may have good intentions, this isn’t very effective. You don’t need to beat yourself up about something that happened to you. Instead try being your best friend and give yourself some loving support that you actually deserve. Being compassionate is about saying kind things to yourself, taking care of your body, and letting yourself grieve.
Bring Yourself to the Present Moment
When a traumatic event happens, it feels like that memory is stuck on replay. Places, people, situations, activities, or objects may randomly trigger that memory. Our brains are on constant alert and heightened to detect threats in our environment after trauma. The best antidote is to bring yourself to the present moment by reminding yourself that your are safe now. The past may want to keep coming up, so you have to rewire your brain to being in the here and now instead of the past. Using grounding, guided meditations, and deep breathing skills that are taught in therapy can be super helpful in being present. Your brain right now is associating many things in your environment to the past traumatic event, so you have to relearn that you are safe.
Learn New Ways to Process
The ways you used to cope in the past may feel like nothing is working now. Lean into noticing what you are feeling. Our emotions have purpose and tell us what we need. Journaling can be a helpful tool to identify your thoughts and feelings. However, if you don't have the words to express yourself, then creative outlets may be a better direction. Allowing yourself to flow through your emotions will decrease feelings of being stuck in your body. Talking to people who are supportive of you and don’t blame you for what happened can also help with processing.
Make Sure You are Safe
In order to feel emotionally safe again, you have to be physically safe. If the person who harmed you still has access to you, then it puts your safety at risk. Some survivors choose to press charges or obtain a restraining order to help with their safety. Other ways you can improve your safety is by blocking this person on social media/phone number, removing yourself from areas where they frequent, or staying away from others that are associated with that person. If you ever feel in danger, contact 911. Check out my community resource page for local and national contacts for additional safety support.
Consider Going to Therapy
Therapy can help you get the extra support you may need to help you process what happened to you. Some times people need additional perspectives outside of themselves to understand what the right path is for them to heal from traumatic experiences.