How You Can Learn to Stand Up For Yourself
To begin, lets explore why standing up for yourself feels so difficult. In the era of challenging people pleasing behaviors, many individuals are beginning to question what made them people pleasers in the first place. Often times this can stem from messages you received as early as childhood or from a traumatic event.
Why expressing yourself can be so difficult:
When you’ve said no to something in the past it was not respected
You’ve learned that telling people how you feel doesn’t change your relationships
You grew up in a household where you weren’t allowed to question anything or have a different opinion
People don’t respect your boundaries even when you communicate them
If we have been through a traumatic event where our personal boundaries were not respected, some times we learn to just give up on telling people our boundaries. It is easy to get into the mindset of “what’s the point?” and feel a sense of helplessness to the things going on around you. However, getting into this mindset isn’t going to be helpful for you in making necessary changes in your life. You deserve to be in environments where you feel respected.
In therapy, we take a look at:
How you are communicating with others
Changing your environment to places where you will feel heard
Gaining the confidence in using your voice
As a trauma therapist, we may explore how different traumatic events in your life have impacted you. Then we identify what areas in your life you can control instead of feeling like life is in control of you. Helping people regain their ability to set boundaries, speak up, and use their authentic voice are one of my favorite parts about being a therapist.
Things you can do to help yourself:
Identify what your boundaries are
Practice saying no out loud (maybe in the mirror with yourself)
Write down what you would like to communicate to someone before having the tough conversation with them
If this is something you are struggling with, I am accepting new therapy clients. I want to help you feel confident in voicing yourself. Click the free consultation button in the top right hand side of the screen in the menu options to get started in your healing journey.